Updated: Apr 26, 2018
Today I am in gratitude and childlike awe, Because I and others Are still alive...
Yet... Am I?
On route to Vancouver a few days ago Towards one possible reality Life, and my little adventurous vehicle, Decided to take an unexpected detour down a different off road path of destruction.
When the result of any life endangering event is not death but continued aliveness why is the after-effect, oft times, shock, anger, sadness as opposed to an incredible, exciting, humble appreciation of the incredible opportunity of what life is now still remaining?
First and foremost… For those who may be concerned... No one ended up physically, injured in this incident/ accident? Except the truck, a dormant but beguiling rose bush and a rather large, well placed, yet adjusted boulder.
The brakes of the vehicle, According to the mechanic, Had rusted through and fell out.
Where else is this showing up
Is this a teaching?
How many times have I witnessed the results of friends and I
When our lives of work, relationships, economics, emotions, etc
All careening, happening at high speed, overtaxed and under maintained, out of control, just waiting for...?
In the midst of this event In the slow-mo moment of life's most memorable events
We had choices Yes, there were only a few choices But there were indeed choices.
It is this awareness of choices I have found to be the ripple of aftershocks now happening.
Is an opportunity for change
A slight adjustment to the day
Or a fundamental behavioural change.
Is life measured by how many years of numbness one can stack up upon another Or is it in the micro seconds of aliveness that are fully lived,
Experiencing this and so many other life-changing moments over this life It is clear that what I take out of any traumatic or beautiful life event is always optional.
A hundred opportunities/decisions are given us
In every graced space of… A cashier's smile to open up and return mine with A hummingbird's passing by to go grab a coffee and buzz myself into a day forth A toaster popping... mmm toast A truck's brakes failing and choosing to ditch dive with a renewed sense of life.
How do we arise and thrive,
How do we find the aliveness when death is still titteringly present?
How is consciousness of each second achievable?
Today... Each moment
I am seeing Is actually two realities
And both are optional.
Today is a day of gripping the steering wheel hard… Radio of the mind blasting Focused on the timelines Focused on some destination or avoidance in emotional space
In some ways, way off course, in some ways perfect for some other reason.
On this day I am steering or being steered by the cyclic wheel, unconsciously I am, not really driving but in the passenger seat. As the vehicle accelerates for-ward, I am bracing, fending off of my fears,
I am unaware of how asleep at the wheel I am until… suddenly… brakes failing, tires exploding, engine over heating, a roof leaking… an obstacle arises as an opportunity.
I hear it...
The Sound of Day 2) Arriving...
"Go to the beach"...
The warning light of life, is glowing.
2 ) Today Looks like...
A day of letting go of thinking my life plan is the right way… So I put a post it note on the rear view mirror to remind me… That 'Life is a highway' And where I drive, park, get out and play, live, be is optional.
Day 2 involves getting authentic with not just the mind
But the kid, the fool, saboteur, ego and selfless parts of me And taking them out for a daily walk Asking the wind and trees The hidden forest of this soul journey Allowing them all to start mumbling Until I start hearing
Not shaming Seeing,
Opening to the beauty that each simply wants a turn to try out driving.
What is the self invented reason for being so in control
Isn't fun to have someone fly me somewhere and be served peanuts or pretzels for a change?
In Day 2. Not completely knowing is okay It's simply a place to be conscious in anyway If things get hectic
I am aware that I can pull over and stop
Call a time out To check the fluid levels and the road maps, Measure where I am at In order to get clear on who, what, where is
Each of these days 1 ) As a kind of Mad Driver 2 ) As a kind of Chauffer for a Family
I have found Are both habitual Neither more right or wrong But both use the same key Of 'Consciousness' Of 'Choice' To do the same thing
Start the engine.
Where the steering wheel leads from there is a very different place.