MAY THIS SERVE...
Why do we do what we do?
Tomorrow morning I head to Vancouver to take another leap into the grand mystery of creativity, dance and ... only this time... I am just like the last couple years have been, this is going to be another ever growing stretch for me,
reaching past the story of economics, as usual, and following the calling that is there, whispering, beckoning, heartbeat and action, so often now, guiding me.
Logical or illogical? What guides you in this life of constant decision making?
In the photo below... this well worn, yet wanderlust ready, truck sits quietly awaiting it's moment to adventure once again... or so I like to believe I ? I am here, elsewhere, taking a reprieve, physically exhausted, wondering why, why am I tired before this no holds barred, three day event has even begun.
Why do I do this? Why do we do many of the things that we do?
When I heard of this event a year ago I paused, I opened for a moment and let the story of it bounce back and forth inside me. Something in the delivery, in the medicine of it, I let be a seedling that awakened another part of me, that in time I was willing to nurture, and in that dark root space there seemed to be the unknown, ready to offer it's self, with only reflection, calling me hither.
And now I hear it...
"Does this path have a heart?" Carlos Castaneda says
Everyday there seems hundreds of callings, some needing more immediate attention perhaps than others, but I suspect that there is something about one, two or more of these daily choices which seems more awakening, perhaps more challenging, but still, more heart pounding than the others.
As the Carlos Castenda's Quote continues...
“Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path...
...Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks " (many rarely ask) "the question; and when a man" (a person) "finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men" (people) "can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.”
So here I am... Words now being written because they seem to be wanted to be spoken, felt, summarized, returned to the light from the darkness of ambiguity.
Am I exhausted still? Kind of - ish but I can tell now, it was only my body speaking, wanting to know why it was doing what we are doing.
When the heart is clear the body seems to move mountains of stuff for me. Now? My next step on the path is again clear to me... Therefore...
My heart exposed and clean... I send love to your day, the path that each of you have chosen... and if the path has no heart, no calling, I offer you the full quote of Carlos below in the comments section, and invite you, to decide where to go from there.
May this serve, as I now follow my own next calling... back to loading the truck, for the ongoing adventure which is not waiting, and is ahead.